Privilege Denying Dude: curing society one hijab at a time.
Once when I was a young and naive new Muslim, I had a terrible conversation with a woman who was sincerely trying to learn about the hijab.
After saying hello, she very nicely blurted out her question: why do you wear that head-scarf-thing? Thinking I was being witty, I decided to relate a particularly inspiring story I had just read online: When a woman receives a diamond engagement ring and shows it off, everyone compliments how bright, beautiful and wonderful it is. More and more people, even strangers see the diamond and shower the woman with praises. But soon, the excitement of the diamond slowly starts to fade, and it becomes common. It grows dull and nothing special. But what if you hide that diamond and keep it secret — showing it only to the people who truly love and care for you? Then the brightness of that diamond never fades and is valued each time it’s shown. A woman’s hair is a beautiful adornment, just like a diamond. And is so special that it should only be shared with her father and husband — not with any strange man that comes along.
She smiled, and seemed to accept my explanation. I was elated — and armed with more gems from Imam Internet we continued our chat. She asked, “aren’t you hot in that thing?” Without skipping a beat, I smiled and said, “Hell is hotter.”
Our conversation slammed to halt. It’s no wonder she glared at me and stopped smiling. I don’t think I could have been any more ignorant, arrogant or rude.
A good portion of English, online sources about hijab are geared toward converts or aim to convince women to take on the hijab. Their arguments use sparkly, treasure imagery, presenting women as precious pearls who deserve to be safeguarded from the evils in this world. Women need to be proud and empowered. Hijab can do that for you. Islam asks its followers to behave modestly. Hijab can do that for you. Women deserve to be respected. Hijab can do that for you. Western notions of beauty require you to spend hours on your hair, make-up and starve your body. Hijab liberates you from superficial notions of beauty. Hijab makes you confident, allows you to move freely in society by removing your sexuality, protects you from assault, raises your status among believers, and helps people judge you for your words and actions, not your body.
Until it doesn’t.
Now, yes — absolutely yes — for many, hijab is about power. In certain communities, hijab can allow a woman to enter into public spaces to work and support her family, whether she believes it is a religious requirement or not. People do indeed choose to wear it for religious reasons, cultural reasons, identity reasons, as a form of protest, solace, protection or fashion expression and feel empowered by this choice. Women who may otherwise feel pressure by their community to cover up, may in fact feel confident, respected and protected by covering — and may even garner a level of power within that community. Of course, people also use the hijab to oppress, restrict and control women, and it is absolutely a target for Islamophobia and an excuse for prejudice.
Often we hear about how hijab is about choice, oppression, culture, or religious freedom. But I’ve been thinking lately about certain examples where hijab is also about privilege.
Hijab as a marker of privilege has its roots in the Qur’an (33:59), which says that believing women should cover their bodies in public to protect themselves from being “abused” or “annoyed” by others. A popular interpretation of this verse argues that all civilizations have a distinctive dress or badge of honour, and that the purpose of the verse is to say that the identifying Islamic public dress protects women from harm and molestation. It then offers the example/analogy of pre-Islamic Assyrian laws that required married women to veil, and forbade slaves and sex workers from veiling.* Unsaid of course, is the suggestion that perhaps uncovered women in the early Muslim community were “bothered” because people assumed they were sex workers or slaves — giving a reason to why the Qur’an asks women to cover for protection and be identified as Muslims.
What’s gotten my hijab in a bunch are people who reason that hijab protects one from sexual assault and raises them above the status of the non-hijabi. Some of this online rhetoric reasons that covering makes you treasured, honoured, chaste and pure — while uncovering makes you cheap, indecent, and unchaste. A hijabi is raised, praised, and valued for her Islamic faith and knowledge, even if she has none. A non-hijabi is hell-bound.
Hijab is a requirement for employment in certain Islamic schools and mosques — and certainly for Islamic leadership. Apparently, the problem of not wearing hijab is more important than determining how a person can contribute to the community in works, knowledge and leadership.
Hijab is also a kind of privilege accorded only to cis-gendered Muslim women.
Hijab is expensive. In North America imported ‘abayas start at $50, and overseas even the bargain-souq-basement prices start at $20. An Islamic inspired bathing suit is $200. Plain black scarves usually run between $10-$15, while the more fashionable scarf starts at $30. You’re lucky to find a $5 sale at a bazaar, or even pretty scarves in the donation box for free.
And while I am excited for and proud of the young hijabista entrepreneurs making a business and expressing their modern style through modest coverings, I really wish they’d diversify. I have never, ever, seen a black hijab model, a fat hijab model, or a hijab model with a disability. Ever.
I’d love to go back and have that conversation all over again. I’m ashamed that I essentially told that woman she was going to hell for being a cheap, used diamond. It’s frightening to see how easy it was for me to engage my position of privilege and be convinced of these arguments — arguments I had picked up from popular online forums and articles. But perhaps that’s precisely why these arguments are effective: they appeal to privilege.
It’s dangerous to present modest dress and mannerisms as protection, when assault or oppression is not about clothing, and when clothing is used to restrict women. It’s unfair to believe that you cannot be modest, respectful or a scholar without hijab and to do so marginalizes people who are certainly sincere Muslims, brilliant, and hijabless. Hijab does not mean you’re chaste and sinless and everyone else is promiscuous. Society’s ills are not solved with a piece of cloth, but with education, attitude changes and support. Hijab should not be limited, nor limiting. We are not commodities. And it’s plain offensive to prefer a hijab wearer above anyone.
*From The Meaning of the Holy Qur’an by ‘Abdullah Yusuf ‘Ali.
wood turtle 
February 3, 2011 at 3:59 am
I once saw a video taken by a Muslim man who was interviewing a Muslim woman (tried to look for it again on youtube but I think it’s been taken down) who did not wear a hijab. The man asked her how she felt about hijabs. She responded that she admires women who wear them very much, but she doesn’t feel that it’s for her. The man told her to imagine she was walking into a jewelry store. Some of the jewelry is on racks. People can look at them and touch them and examine them before making a purchase. Other pieces of jewelry are under glass, and the owner of the store had a key to open them. They could only be touched with the owner’s permission.
The man asked the lady which pieces of jewelry were more valuable, the ones on the racks or the ones under glass.
At this point, I began to fume.
The woman was obviously uncomfortable. She was cringing under his patronizing gaze. “Well, yes, the jewelry under the glass is more valuable. . .” she stammered.
“The jewelry under the glass is more valuable,” the man repeated. “Because it is real. The ones in the rack are fake.”
“Yes, I agree that it’s better but–”
“So, when can we expect to see you with a hijab?”
The woman laughed shakily. I wanted to tell that creep to back off. Who the hell did he think he was? “You know, I really don’t think it’s for me. . .”
She was obviously a nice lady. If it were me I would have told him to shut up. I would have told him that the jewelry under the glass was more valuable because it was real, not because it was under glass. If you switched the jewelry under the glass with the jewelry on the racks, the jewelry that used to be under the glass but was now on the racks was still real, and the jewelry that used to be on the rack but was now under glass is still fake. So his stupid metaphor doesn’t even work. Loser.
February 3, 2011 at 4:10 pm
heh! Brilliant analysis — thanks for sharing. This type of reasoning is infuriating and insulting, and yet people really love to rely on it for all things Islam.
February 3, 2011 at 11:35 am
The trouble starts when people import these thinking into behaviour. Women dressed modestly but not hijabified are sometimes misbehaved with, or looked down upon, in certain communities. Sometimes when the unforgettable incidents happen, many mullahs say “she deserved it”. Excuse my French, but WTF?
They always portray extremes as well, a burkha clad vs. a bikini-clad women in their examples.
February 3, 2011 at 4:17 pm
You raise a really important point Mezba, that when people internalize this thinking, it influences actions, minds and preconceptions. I can harass this person because they are uncovered and expect it — all Westerners are promiscuous and want it — western muslim, educated women are tainted with feminism and liberalism, etc. Dangerous.
I wonder what some mullahs say to hijabi women who are harassed… by strangers as well as their own mahrem.
February 3, 2011 at 6:08 pm
Hi, this is interesting, in part because I have been looking into plain/modest dress in Christian traditions.
I find your approach liberating – that the hijab can mean so many things. In Christian circles where they cover, it is all based on the New Testament ideas of female submission.
You’ve given me some pause for thought
February 4, 2011 at 4:10 am
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Miss Browne, eccentric yoruba. eccentric yoruba said: when hijab is about privilege: http://t.co/pupiMsX […]
February 5, 2011 at 11:42 am
I’ve been following your blog for a while now. Really enjoy reading it. Great post. I’ve linked it on my fb-profile. Hope you don’t mind.
February 5, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Welcome Amra — thanks for commenting! By all means, link away. Let me know if you get an interesting discussion going 🙂
February 5, 2011 at 11:55 pm
Oh. Oh. Oh.
I just detest, DETEST when I hear other muslims using flakey metaphors when addressing questions from non-muslims. It embarasses me. I choke when I get those chain emails comparing hijab to an unpeeled orange or a pea in it’s pod. It infuriates me. It de-values us– and especially the hijab.
Women who wear hijab should just be honest. We are all wearing it, or not wearing it for a variety of reasons.
I agree with you 100% regarding this subject. It does not make us more pious, better, holier, more chaste are valuable than someone who does not wear it. We are not cleaner, morally superior or better muslims. It does not protect us from assault, rape or other crimes against women. And not wearing it– should never be associated with promiscuity, questionable morals or ‘asking for it’.
Dangerous, slippery slope.
February 7, 2011 at 5:46 pm
OMG! Thank you so much for touching on this whole woman is a delicate little object who needs to be protected thingie! Ugh!
Reminds me of those demeaning images, again, aimed at fooling women into covering their hair if they don’t already:
The woman whose hair is covered is a covered lollypop, all pure and clean and safe and protected; the woman whose hair is uncovered is an uncovered lollypop with all these dirty little flies all over her, dirtying her up.
Like, what the freak?!
The diamond story you told is so popular, LOL! And comes in many different versions. It’s almost disturbing.
February 16, 2011 at 10:42 pm
[…] https://woodturtle.wordpress.com/2011/02/03/when-hijab-is-about-privilege/ This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged hijab, hijabless. Bookmark the permalink. ← The elusive subject of revolution by Armando Salvatore LikeBe the first to like this post. […]
March 9, 2011 at 10:44 pm
OMG, hijab is for one reason, to cover womens bodies from men! End of story.
March 10, 2011 at 12:31 am
Love it. Thanks for this wonderful opinion.
Am sharing it on Facebook.
March 10, 2011 at 2:38 pm
Thank you for the article. When I was young and naive, I used to utilize the diamond analogy as well. However, now that I am a little older and just a bit more wiser, I explain that the only reason I do it is because I believe that it is an order from God and I choose to try to be an obedient Muslim. It is not easy, yes it gets hot and inconvenient (especially while travelling and I get to be touched and poked by airport security), however, I love doing it because of Whom I am doing it for. (Believe me, if it was not in Qur’an, I would not do it even for a day.)
And now, when I am explaining to others, I keep in mind that it does not have to make sense to others (although it does to me). Belief is something between an individual and their Creator.
Finally, the article mentions some countries where wearing a hijab is a privilege. I do have to attract attention to extreme secularist countries such as France and Turkey where women who wear hijab are not allowed into schools (not even as visitors), or allowed to work at government and most private establishments. Again, thank you for the article.
March 18, 2011 at 1:38 pm
Thanks for sharing your experience Azra! I’ve always loved the sentiment that faith is between a person and the Creator.
March 10, 2011 at 8:27 pm
I agree with your reasoning that hijab will not protect you from assault or oppression, but I know that, for me at least, it is an automatic symbol for men that I am not to be touched. They know from the beginning that they cannot just hug me or high-five me like they would with other girls. People I meet already know not to ask me to go clubbing or drinking with them. So I don’t have to deal with any of those compromising positions.
March 16, 2011 at 4:38 pm
Salams! This sentence summons up what I´m experiencing these days: “A hijabi is raised, praised, and valued for her Islamic faith and knowledge, even if she has none.” Well put!
I just discovered your blog, thanks to a message from Annie Crombie. I don´t usually follow blogs, but I can see that yours will be worth it inshallah! So, salams and greetings from Kressbronn, Germany 🙂
ps, thanks for the Islamic book tips! I´ll be looking for those!
March 16, 2011 at 10:33 pm
Wa alaikum salaam… hurra Deutschland! Thanks for stopping by 🙂
March 17, 2011 at 4:44 pm
ps, I love that picture at the beginning of the post. Did you make that yourself? Hilarious!
March 18, 2011 at 1:37 pm
Sadly, I cannot claim authorship for that bit of Internet brilliance. All credit goes to Privileged denying dude.
April 3, 2011 at 4:13 am
Yes, head cover is not meant to protect a woman from harassment because it covers a sexy part of the woman. The face is the center of attraction not the hair and the face is uncovered (mostly). But the head cover does protect the woman from being attacked or harassed because is is a message in itself telling people that “watch it dude, this a Muslim sister, these people don’t joke about their women being attacked”. That is actually the reasoning given by Allah in Quran for covering the head for women.
Head cover is a commandment from Allah to all Muslim women by the consensus of the early scholars of Islam and nobody today has the right to tangle with that ruling as the consensus of the early Muslims is considered an integral part of the religion. That is Islam. A woman not covering her head is committing a sin, a minor one not a major one, and if there was a Muslim community ruled by the Law of Allah, then no Muslim woman can go out with her hair uncovered and no Muslim man can go out with his thighs exposed.
April 8, 2011 at 4:12 pm
I posted your opinion as a note on my fb notes, with a link and credit to your article. Your article has generated an interesting response that sheds light that the Hijab is equally meant for men. I hope you will get to read the response. My fb link is below and you may have to click on ‘My Notes.’
http://facebook.com/zafar.mohammed
I post an excerpt.
“…My view entirely, need not be taken as the absolute explaination… First of all, Hijaab does not only mean the burkha as we all have been conditioned to believe.
It also means MODESTY, Shyness, bashfulness. This is basically
a quality which is liked by Allah…”
November 18, 2011 at 4:16 am
An interesting read. I agree – promoting a superiority complex amongst Muslims to quell any insecurities or misgivings they may have about why they adhere to their faith is not an effective means.
It makes you close minded, slightly arrogant and a little bit annoying to everyone else around you.
Hijaab has many dimensions:
1. On a very basic level its purpose is to diminish the sexuality of a woman, so men don’t look at her lustfully. Quite simple really!
2. It is a sacrifice that specifically a female makes – sacrificing beauty in order to obey God. (Difficult thing to ask of a woman!)
3. It is an expression of the spiritual state we strive to be in, which is complete submission to Allah. The harmony between our inner selves and our outer selves can be fine tuned by this physical symbol we choose to wear.
The arguments can get more and more complex and have post modernist nuances such as –
It is my expression of self in this pluralistic society! (That one goes down really well!)
We can tailor our arguments for any audience but the truth is as a sister so eloquently stated before – it does not have to make sense to others.
The mind seeks to prove what the heart already knows.
In our hearts we’ve submitted to God’s commands and laws, and we theorize and intellectualize our faith with reason and I support that wholeheartedly. Reason and faith its like tea and biscuits – the perfect synergy.
After all who wants the devotion of a fool – right?
However, I sometimes feel that when it comes to Non Muslims you have to give every reason under the sun, and present flawless arguments that are seasoned with quotes from feminists, intellects, poets, writers and maybe even a celebrity to strengthen what you are trying to put across.
It is a trap I have fallen into so many times, because being raised in a Western society, where freedom of though is highly encouraged we as Western Muslims have the best of both worlds – a strong faith which is further strengthened by our ability to question and reason.
So when someone says to me I wear a headscarf for my husband or you SHOULD wear a headscarf so men don’t think you’re a scarlet woman – it really irritates every free thinking liberal feministic bone in my veiled body.
But it also saddens my heart because deen (religion) is not about human beings – it is about God. (Allah)
First and foremost we cover for Allah and whatever benefits follow from that happen to follow.
Yes its a reason that most people can’t digest – because the notion that you would put yourself in hardship and sacrifice for a Transcendent Being (that a majority of society has killed off in their hearts – according to Nietzsche) is unfathomable.
If someones heart has denied Allah they really won’t understand why on earth you’re covered from head to toe. You can give as many intellectual reasonings as you like but the heart can be pretty stubborn.
However with that being said, you shouldn’t be sloppy when it comes to justifying hijaab and expression of faith. Give all the reasonable arguments and facts.
However these discussions can be very demoralizing as you can see your audience slowly drifting away because they’re counting the shampoo bubbles coming out of your ears, as they believe your brain has been truly and thoroughly washed.
Maybe in some respect that is true, if we rehearse arguments we don’t truly understand – we are guilty of being brainwashed.
But I honestly feel next time someone asks me why I wear a Headscarf I’ll say “Because I am a Muslim and God asked me to do it.”
Purity of faith like Ibrahim (AS)!
Because that is the Ultimate reason and if people don’t like THAT … they ain’t gonna like the rest of Islam…!
April 15, 2012 at 6:34 pm
This comment has been removed by the moderator. Another comment like this will result in a banning from the blog.
You have been warned.
April 23, 2012 at 10:00 am
[…] course, women wear hijab for many reasons and not all are linked to womanhood, status, culture, habit, political ideals, fashion statements, identity, coercion, protection from […]
May 8, 2012 at 10:31 pm
Hello there and Assalaamulaikum, Wood Turtle. I came across your blog through links of Mezba M’s blogsite. So on the issue of the Hijaab, in my personal opinion I believe people should STOP making non-Hijaabis feel guilty for not wearing it using those “so-called metaphors and memes.” The truth is, only Allah can judge who is Muslim and how they are, not others. I know of good Muslim wives who are beautiful and do not wear the Hijaab, yet they are good Muslims that pray 5x a day and are good to their husbands. And if I were to believe those memes that demean non-Hijaabis, I wouldn’t call them “good Muslim wives” just because they don’t wear Hijaab.
So to make long things short: PLEASE FOR ALLAH’S SAKE, DON’T MAKE THE NON-HIJAABIS FEEL GUILTY FOR NOT COVERING THEIR HAIR!!!!! They too are Muslims in their own individual way and they are being true to themselves and trying hard not to fall under irritating pressure.
On the other hand, if a man is still constantly nagging about non-Hijaabis “asking for it,” I think he should do the same for men who don’t grow their beards, wear thobes in public, listen to music, draw pictures, or even talk to non-mahraam women. Very irritating indeed….anyone agree with me?
May 8, 2012 at 10:33 pm
in correction…I don’t believe those memes or metaphors that make non-hijaabis feel guilty for not covering their hair. I feel that’s simply irritating to Muslims all over…
May 23, 2012 at 11:08 pm
Wow, this is an excellent and very thoughtful post. I agree that sometimes Muslims speaking to non-Muslims or non-hijabees can be so eager to defend/promote the hijab that they don’t acknowledge how complicated this piece of clothing is.
I’ve worn the hijab for almost seven years now, since I was 13, and while I love it and am proud of it I have to continuously acknowledge that it has multiple and complex meanings for women across the world. After all, many women grow up seeing the hijab/veil used to hurt or oppress females; as much as I’d like everyone to think positively about the hijab it’s hard to expect a woman in that situation to see the hijab as liberating.
But I also think of that double-consciousness as part of the power of the hijab, because in the very act of putting it on every morning, you’re forced to become aware of (a) yourself as a woman, as a Muslim, as someone with blessings, and (b) the situations of other people and how they differ from yours. It’s a way of actively taking on this duty, every day.
My own personal analogy for the hijab isn’t jewels or precious metals or anything like that (I’m a no frills girl, myself). Instead, I think of it as being like fasting. During Ramadan you constantly strive to be better than you think you can be and the tenets of Islam are always on your mind – you’re always aware of yourself as a Muslim and your goals as a Muslim. And when you’re fasting, through the power of Ramadan it suddenly seems easier to be patient, prayerful, abstaining, charitable. Wearing the hijab is like that, I think – a constant reminder and a source of strength.
June 16, 2012 at 7:54 pm
[…] For some insightful convert reflections on hijab and privilege, see here and here. […]
April 1, 2013 at 11:37 pm
Wonderful article. Alhamdullilah, I’m really glad I came across it when I did. I’m debating taking off the hijab, for the second time in my life, and this just gave me more food for thought. I wish I knew you in real life so I could talk to a hijabi who self identifies as a feminist and has identified problematic aspects of it. Poop.
August 25, 2013 at 4:34 am
“Western notions of beauty require you to spend hours on your hair, make-up and starve your body. ”
its a funny thing. i’ve read this so many times in so many different places, but right after it you read about how to be a good muslim wife and it basically advocates the same. its even implied that if you don’t, you can be blamed for a husband’s infidelity. some women advocate beauty regimines in order to prevent a husband from picking up a couple more wives who are younger, thinner and prettier. 😦
August 25, 2013 at 10:09 pm
This is a very important point you make — I think you’re spot on.
I can’t stand the “ideal muslimah” — it’s such a disservice to both men and women. On whose ideal is she based upon anyway? But yes, it absolutely advocates that women/wives should make sure the kids are well fed and presented well, and that she has coiffed hair, is dressed nicely, has a freshened mouth and must absolutely be ready to “service” her husband. Or else, you know, he’s going to get it from some place else. So ladies, make sure you look amazing (according to manufactured standards of beauty), stay thin, light, and tight. But wear hijab when you go out because you’re better than those thin supermodels. UGH!
I’m really glad you brought this up — thank you.