Sometimes there are just no (written) words when (moving) pictures can say it all.

Enjoy Muslims just being real!

1) Maryam Ismail has an interesting take on a recent panel discussion held during the opening of Sadaf Sayed’s iCover exhibition at the Sharjah Museum of Islamic Civilization.

Responding with “the modern Muslim woman is who she chooses to be” Ismail asks:

Where did this image of the oppressed Muslim woman come from and when will this battle against it stop? … Today, it seems there is the idea that under one’s hijab lies some mystical inner working, one that needs to be covered up by another layer of normality…

Why should it be a special event if a woman who wears a hijab decides to be a fencer or a ballerina? Is it out of the realm of faith? Some may not think so and others may not care. Then, there may be another premise: that wearing the hijab will show the world that Muslim women have arrived. However, I think that if this is the case, they may end up being the oldest debutantes at the ball.

Match point.

I have to say that I LOVE seeing awesome, strong Muslimahs rocking out in their hijab. But do I love them because they mirror what I do on a Friday night, or because they apparently SMASH current stereotypes of the submissive veiled (groan) woman?

Muslimah’s shouldn’t need a surfboard or a boxing glove to augment their hijab just to be considered normal. Discuss.

2) What is this? –>>

I think it’s a lovely, albeit unfortunate piece of Islamic Calligraphy.

What do YOU think it is?

Find out how community members’ dirty minds won the right to deface their mosque, and read more hilarious awkwardness at Wajahat Ali and Aman Ali’s new project: Hair in New Places.

(seriously… WHAT were they THINKING?!)

3) Wondering what REAL Muslims looks like. Without the pressures of hijabs, beards, surfboards or boxing gloves?

Interested in seeing just plain, normal, fantastic, boring, amazing, neighbourly humans who happen to be Muslim?

Well now you can with Todd Drake’s “Muslim Self Portraits” project profiling (haha) Muslims in North Carolina and Manama, Bahrain “to create self-portraits that share real, rather than seeming, reflections of self to a wider audience.”

4) And unless you’ve taken a self-imposed holiday from any form of social or digital media, you just might have heard about the Sh*it People Say meme that’s sweeping teh internetz.

Naturally, Muslims had to get on board.

I give you:

• Stuff Muslim Women Say
• St*ff Hijabi Girls say (by a really cute boy in hijab!!)
• Stuff People Say to Hijabis
• Sh*it Muslims Say

And my personal favourite, Stuff Hijabis Say:

You can’t argue with “is my hair showing?” “what is up with the drama in the MSA?” gritting your teeth through auntie interrogation and getting your dance on to Nari Narien!

I played super-Mom with a burst of energy so strong, I thought I was nesting. While the Hubby slept through his horrid head cold, I cleaned the house, did laundry, made pancakes and then baked cupcakes with Eryn — all before lunch. We celebrated my homemaking skills with a trip to the movies and some take-out. Who has time to cook dinner when there’s cupcakes to be had? CUPCAKES!

Here’s Eryn practicing her new photography skills. Everything is an appropriate subject:

"Cheese baby!" (can you tell I'm sucking it in? No really, it's quite the flattering angle. She's the ideal photographer.)

There was also “Cheese Monkey” and “Cheese num-nyah!” but I am not showing you a picture of just my chest. Why Eryn thinks my breasts are their own entity is beyond me.

"Cheese TV!"

So every baby, the Hubby takes on a new project or hobby. With Eryn it was horseback riding . With “the little one” it looks like he’s going to be a model train enthusiast.

It’s pretty exciting seeing the trains and the level of detail that goes into the sets. Quite the expensive and impressive hobby (er, but not something you should be getting into with a new baby on the way. I’m all for archery instead).

Oh Eryn, not the level of geek I was hoping for.

We even braved the sub-zero temperatures to go to the fair. Eryn was so excited she sang the entire way. ABC’s in Arabic on repeat. The Hubby redeemed himself by humming the Imperial March.

"Want the wild one mama!" You got it baby.

So… how was your weekend?

Mona Eltahawy says in five minutes what I can barely get at in two posts.

God, I LOVE this woman.

I believe completely that the last 1,400 years of scholarship has been dominated by men. It’s indisputable. And while it may sound like some seedy “conspiracy theory,” there is also ample evidence illustrating that pro-female interpretations and male interpretations favouring prophetic and Qur’anic expectations of equity are largely drowned out.

Misogynist interpretations came to the fore not necessarily because they were the most correct, the closest to how Islam was practiced by the Prophet, or what God really wanted to say – but are most likely the result of whoever had the strongest army. There were hundreds of legal schools within the first few centuries of Islam. Hundreds. All died out through lack of popularity or persecution by the Caliph of the day who was usually more concerned with his political aspirations than religious goals.

Finding a variety of scholarly opinions and debates on women and women’s roles in Islam is nothing new. This is why Muslim feminists are needed today to call people out on their misogyny and for believers in “Islamic feminism” to do more than just acknowledge that things have vastly changed from what God and the Prophet intended.

Shunning Muslim feminists because Feminism is somehow based upon a foreign, Western or secular philosophy that threatens to change Islam from within, belittles the capabilities that women have to interpret their religion for themselves. It also blatantly ignores the vast Muslim tradition of adapting “foreign” ideologies into how Islam is understood, interpreted and even practiced. From Greek philosophy and Marxism, to organ donation and gender reassignment, Muslim beliefs are constantly changing and adapting to contemporary social change and influence.

This for me, points to the wonderfully flexible, eternal nature of the religion.

If male scholars can interpret the Qur’an in light of popular culture or changes in medical advances, why can’t women be given a chance to voice their interpretations on topics that matter to us or allow people to shed light on the historical interpretations that empower women’s status?

Muslim feminists like Amina Wadud, Fatema Mernissi and Khaled Abou El Fadl are among today’s champions – going back to the historical sources, contextualising Qur’anic verses, prophetic traditions, and wading through the centuries of scholastic debate relating to women’s supposed duty to husbands, sexual practices, obsession with dress, women’s public participation, or female spirituality – in order to address the misuse of these sources in justifying everything from FGM to women’s biological and intellectual frailties.

This is something that very few Islamic scholars, who are apparently dedicated to helping women embrace their religiously-granted rights, may be willing to do. And when they do go back and really grapple with the sources to reveal “shocking” truths about the actual role of women, it’s couched in politically safe language of: “Well sure women can lead prayer. But the community isn’t ready for such a radical change. It would cause fitnah or discord in the community, so it’s best to remain silent on this matter for now and raise it when we’re all a little more mature.”

Now, a woman may feel absolute spiritual and personal fulfillment when praying behind a barrier and see no discernible inequalities between her position and that of the imam leading prayer. There’s an institution near me which teaches a woman’s worth is glorified when she is hidden, that her husband has physical, monetary and intellectual advantages over her, and that achieving spiritual fulfillment is empowered only through motherhood. Attending one of these sessions is like gathering at any feminist rally. While they exclude many within the Muslim community, these women feel liberated, proud, and strong and see themselves completely in these particular interpretations of the sacred texts.

I am not so naive to think that either side of the spectrum never causes harm to the other. But creating a space for these voices to air their concerns and find validity is an important step.

The Qur’an is filled with examples of strong women. Muslim heroes like A’isha and Umm Salama kept the Prophet and his Companions in check. The early Muslim women demanded answers to questions pertinent to them. They demanded a presence in the Qur’an. And God answered them (33:35). That’s power.

Saying that women, any woman, is incapable of interpreting the Qur’an or demanding justice from God herself completely removes this power.

Of course Islam has within it the language and tools to deal with “women’s issues.” But we are continually left with serious situations where religion is justified in the oppression of women. That’s why we need Muslim feminists and their allies to help guide this language and tools toward empowerment and social justice for all.

Part I.

Image credit – Sam Wallman.

This month the topic of choice is Islamic and Muslim Feminism – discussed here, here, here, here and here by people more brilliant than I.

This post was supposed to allow me to daydream myself into a faerie-tale discussion of the “perfect” mosque – but a reader sent an e-mail requesting my thoughts on the recent Goatmilk debate: Islam is incompatible with Feminism, and I decided to throw my two cents in.

Two respectable minds entered the debate – only one emerged victorious … though, the jury is still out, and will probably be out for a very long time on this very complex subject.

Debater Mohamad Tabbaa favoured the motion, and argued that Islam and Feminism are two different and irreconcilable ideologies:

Muslim feminists must now make the choice between the Islamic paradigm, which is centred around God, or the secularised modern theology, which is based almost exclusively around (white) men.

In his rebuttal, Tabbaa nuanced his arguments further with the idea that merging Islam into Feminism colonises “Muslim spaces and voices” and that, “Islam already has within its paradigm the language and tools with which to deal with women’s issues.”

Arguing against the motion, Katrina Daly Thompson took the position that there are some Muslims who simply don’t understand Feminism (just as there are Feminists who don’t understand Islam is open to interpretation) – and that Islam and Feminism are fundamentally linked:

Feminism and Islam both need Muslim feminists—Muslim men and women who believe in the full humanity of women—to fight against gender discrimination within Muslim cultures and spaces.

Guess which one I sided with.

Reading the articles and subsequent comments (with lots of eye rolling and victory air punching) started me thinking about my own feminism and how I view myself as a religiously-oriented, Muslim feminist.

Sometimes I like to imagine Feminism and Islam existing on a spectrum – with Muslim feminists on one end and “Islamic feminism” on the other. For me “Islamic feminism” refers to the idea that Islam is built on a foundation of social justice and equity that is clearly laid out in the Qur’an and prophetic traditions – an inherently religious, Divinely-guided, pro-female-empowerment ideology. Muslim feminism recognises the same by working within Islamic beliefs – but is expressively, politically and culturally varied – aiming to contextualise scripture that has been misconstrued by patriarchal systems. You could be an Islamic feminist, a Muslim feminist, both, or neither and recognise that women have rights within Islam.

Perhaps I’m oversimplifying or still wanting to daydream. My thoughts on how to define the two and relate to myself are constantly evolving. The above paragraph cannot encompass the vast history, diversity and development of both Islam and Feminism within a Muslim context. Neither is *only* concerned with “women’s issues” – but includes righting the wrongs of classism, racism, discrimination and oppression. I also believe that there are a variety of understandings, extremes and interpretations along the spectrum – and when reduced to intention, you can imagine both sides working toward similar goals.

Depending on the topic at hand I can find myself at either end – occupying spaces that make sense to me – allowing me to feel comfortable reconciling my faith with whatever I have perceived as offensive to my rights as a Muslim woman.

A Muslim feminist may adhere to traditional feminist notions of social justice and equity, just like a believer in “Islamic feminism” may adhere to traditional Islamic notions of social justice and equity. So, if both sides work toward the same goals and base their ideals on similar sources, why would there ever be an impasse between the two?

Being known as a Muslim feminist has its share of interesting conversations. There are some feminists (Muslim and non) who believe that by wearing the headscarf, I’m participating in and validating a patriarchal construct aimed at monitoring women’s bodies and that supports arguments for the exclusion of women from the public sphere. That my reasons of “spiritual identity” and “tradition” empower misogynists and are tainted with the hijab’s historical memory of privilege and slavery.

Others tell me that Islam and Feminism are incompatible and are quick to point to cultural practices of child marriage, polygamy, segregation and human right’s violations in Muslim countries as proof that Islam is inherently misogynist.

On the other side, there are those who do not want to be associated with Feminism at all. Perhaps because they believe it’s rooted in a Western, secular philosophy, aiming to supersede Divine Will and the “perfected religion” of Islam. Maybe, as has been pointed out brilliantly by Katrina, they just don’t understand Feminism.

And while my views on homosexuality and gender equity sometimes shocks my more “traditional” friends – we can find common ground when it comes to recognising women’s Divinely-guaranteed Islamic rights, with me standing by my sisters who find true spiritual fulfillment and happiness in traditional motherhood roles.

For whatever reason feminism is rejected, when a Muslim recognizes and holds on to the concepts of social justice and equity inherent in Islam, (in my mind) it’s proof that Islam and Feminism can be compatible and are in fact, a necessary partnership.

Part II

Image credit.

Breakfast with an alien.

I’ve been invaded.

Ever since Christmas Eve, an alien has latched onto my daughter — and now it’s latching on to me.

It’s ensnared the entire family with its black beady eyes, cute smiling grin and innocent white marshmallow-fluff-like shape.

Eryn can’t go anywhere or do anything without it. This new family addition has become her best friend and she shares simply everything with it. Everything.

Including me.

Every night Eryn insists that I nurse Adipose. And I willingly oblige because nursing is a part of our nightly sleep routine (though now I wonder if this is acclimatising her to tandem nursing. Hrmm). I’ve nursed Eryn to sleep since she was born simply because it was easier for us. Bouncing, rocking, singing and stories would see her up every hour on the hour — for another round of bouncing, rocking, singing and stories. But if I nursed her to sleep, I was guaranteed at least 8 hours without interruption.

Of course she’ll sleep in the car, the sling and with my mom’s special touch of “just putting her to bed.” But at home, with me around, she needs “num-nyah” to sleep.

I was initially surprised at her obsession with the Adipose, because while she knows to call dust floating in a sunbeam “Vashta Nerada” and enjoys playing with our sonic screwdriver — she’s either complacent or terrified of my other Doctor Who action figures. And she’s never actually seen the episode in which the Adipose appear.

Her first encounter with this character was when leafing through my book Secrets of the TARDIS. Something drew her instantly to the little blob of fat and all she spoke about for days was, “Adipose this” and “Adipose that.” She even made up a cute noise to answer, “what does Adipose say?” and started calling Adipose on her play mobile.

So I did what any brainwashing responsible parent did. I bought her an Adipose toy action figure.

And I’m so thrilled! I’ve tried so many different types of “lovelies” for her to fall in love with — just so I could … you know, send her off to sleep and sneak away to do more adulty-type-things without worrying that she’ll wake up without me there.

From colouring to water play -- Adipose has to join in the fun. I'm surprised it's still clean!

We have a purple monkey, the softest teddy bear imaginable, Eeyore, a giraffe, two baby dolls, a polar bear, hippos, elephants, fuzzy blankets — nothing was good enough to replace me. Until now.

I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because Adipose has its own music video (CAUTION: it’s to the Hamster Dance. You’ve been warned), or because it’s nice and firm, or because it’s a seriously simple design — but there is something about this little alien that Eryn just adores.

And my heart swells with pride on so many levels each time she wakes up at 3am to ask, “Where’s Adipose?” — and immediately falls fast asleep without me.

A humanoid fat blob trumps the purple monkey any day.

This week we’ve got a mix of serious and whimsical pieces — from honour killings and HIV in the Muslim community to awkward parental sex talks and female whirling dervishes.

Enjoy!

1) Ayesha Mattu and Nura Maznavi, co-editors of the upcoming anthology Love, InshAllah: The Secret Love Lives of American Muslim Women, are just splashing all over the place with a little tongue-in-cheek and some wink-wink-nudge-nudge — if you know what I mean. In a fun piece on the HuffPo, these brilliant ladies expose the fact that due to his swarthy good looks and heroic treatment of Muslims in the Media, Muslim females everywhere are spending their nights with John Stewart from the Daily Show.

But can Muslim women really love Jon Stewart, who is — gasp! — Jewish? Honestly, that makes it even better. The Daily Show‘s Senior Muslim Correspondent Aasif Mandvi may be a suitable boy to bring home to our parents, but the element of forbidden fruit makes Jon all the sexier. (And, we suspect our moms might have a thing for Jon too.)

You damn well better believe it.

The HuffPo also published an exert from the above mentioned Love, InshAllah. Deliciously titled “The Birds, the Bees, and My Hole,” Zahra Noorbakhsh expresses how her mother’s straight-forward-but-not-so-helpful sex talk changed the way she related to her jeans and her male friends.

It’s a fantastically bitter-sweet story. Girl finishes high school and celebrates with a group of friends by going to the movies. One of those friends is a boy! Uh-oh! Watch the drama unfold when Mama finds out:

“Zahra, you have a hole. And for the rest of your life, men will want to put their penis in your hole. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you look like, who is your ‘friend.’ Even at the movies, maman jaan, wherever—it does not change. Ri-anne seems like a very nice man, but he is a man. And all he wants is your hole. So, I will pick you up here at five o’clock. Have fun, maman jaan,” she said.

*shudder* I hated the sex talk I had with my dad. I think I blocked 98% of it out while he awkwardly talked about me not “giving IT away.” Ugh.

2) The Muslim community in Eastern Ontario has been shaken by the Shafia family murder case — where a husband, his second wife and son have been charged with the first degree murder of their three daughters and the husband’s first wife. When the trial first started there were plenty of mud-slinging debates if honour killings are actually a part or not a part of Islam.

It’s a horrific story and an enraging topic, so I’m glad to see people are making an effort to address violence in our community. Writing for the Gazette, Kingston Imam Sikander Hashmi unequivocally states that murder is off-limits in Islam:

For starters, murder is totally off-limits in Islam. Having an affair, a relationship or a boyfriend, not wearing the hijab, and so on – as dishonourable as these may be considered – are not cause for murder. Murder is prohibited to the severest degree and cannot be justified in any way, especially for girls who are under the care of their parents.

3) Joe Bradford, imam of the Islamic Center of North East Florida, blogged about an important consideration for many converts to Islam: changing your name to a more “Muslim” sounding name.

For many, “Muslim sounding” just means Arabizing your current name, or choosing a name based on an Islamic concept, Prophet, or Muslim historical figure. So Joseph becomes Yusuf. Katie becomes Khadija. I suppose you could use an English, French, German, <insert language choice here> translated name — but I’ve never met a Catherine who wanted to be called Faith. She usually chooses Iman.

In his post, Joe relates his struggles to adopt a “Muslim” name and then reclaim his parental-given name — and includes a couple of sweet anecdotes from his teachers along the way:

I appreciate that you have preserved your culture, your dress, your name; it is completely contradictory that we say Islam is a universal religion, and then tell people to choose Arabic names, eat Arabic food, and dress like Arabs. Sure we have regulations for dress, but that the how to wear, not the what to wear. Be you, that is the best example you can be; you’ll do more for Islam that way. Both Muslims and other faiths should know that we can have a person of knowledge named Joe; that is the universal nature of Islam.

Awwww! Love.

4) The HIV magazine Positively Aware has a brilliant article on a Chicago workshop which addressed “The Homophobia and Stigma Endured with being Gay, Muslim, and Living with HIV.” Three speakers relate their personal accounts and discuss the lack of HIV support in Muslim communities, experiencing Islamophobia or racism from non-Muslim service providers, and the need to  bring these stories to light.

It’s an uphill battle against an entrenched attitude that makes open discussion about homosexuality taboo among most Muslims. In fact, almost the same words of condemnation that appear in the Bible also appear in the Quran. Boyd acknowledges that the judgment and rejection can be “really psychologically damaging.” Just having someone with whom to talk about it openly is a great relief.

Read it. It’s important. Nobody in the community should have to hide.

5) And finally, what do you get when you put a 13th century Muslim mystic together with a bunch of contemporary women? A whirling colourful display of awesome dervishes!

I am not a part of this community — in more ways than one.

I have never attended a Jummah, a lecture or an event here. I’ve never been to their fundraisers, BBQs, bake sales or open houses. I’ve never been to their sessions for converts, Arabic lessons, or Qur’anic recitation 101 for women. I don’t even know if they hold these types of events or services. I cannot, with any certainty, speak to the experience of women who see this mosque as central to their community and faith.

Yet I pray here all the time.

In convert years, I am older than this mosque — but we grew up together. For 10 years this mosque has been a resource for Muslims in the downtown core, travelers, and people like myself who just need a place to pray.

Whether because it’s conveniently located to my place of work, or because it’s right next to the Toronto bus terminal — I’m here with surprising frequency.

But I could never make it my home.

I am reluctant to hate upon this particular mosque because I recognise and value the service it provides as a place of prayer. But because I am not involved, that’s all it is to me. I might as well pray in my cubicle at work.

In ten years of praying at this mosque I have never been able to find the light switch. So unless I’ve lucked out and someone has turned on the lights — I’m praying in the dark.

Women pray upstairs and follow the imam by watching him on television. The room is quite large — but the musallah is in one small area, sectioned off from the large space and windows overlooking the street, by a room divider and a hastily draped scarf hanging from the entrance doorway.

We face the television and the bathroom wall. I still don’t know why the bathroom was placed in the direction of prayer. Why couldn’t we use the rest of the room beyond the divider? I’m sure there is a valid, logistical reason — but as an outside I’ll never know.

Being sent up two flights of stairs with a heavy toddler is also annoying and incredibly exclusionary for women with mobility issues.

There is however, a very nice library with low-set, Arab-styled couches for people to relax or store their luggage while touring the city for the day.

I never gave these annoyances much thought until Eryn made a particularly heart breaking observation. You see, I’ve always thought of this mosque as a convenience. And so while I noted my issues and disliked the prayer situation — it was always tempoary and I could return home to enjoy the peace found in my mosque. And when I unfortunately moved away from my mosque — I just stopped going to mosques altogether and preferred to find God elsewhere … because no other mosque could compare.

This past weekend we were in the downtown core for the afternoon prayer and stopped at this mosque for a quick prayer break. As always, Eryn became very excited and started singing “Upsy-daisy now don’t be lazy, it’s time to go to the masjid!“

She loves going to the mosque and running in-between the sections — sharing hugs after we’ve finished praying. And we always attend the few mosques that have a shared prayer space.

We sang all the way into the main entrance.
We sang up both flights of stairs.
We sang when we saw the prayer rugs.
We stopped singing when a very confused Eryn said, “Where’s Baba?”

I explained he was downstairs but that we could see him on the television. We had to pray upstairs, and Baba downstairs. I had ashes in my mouth — and hated evey word. Especially when she almost started crying.

Granted, I still don't know where the light switch is -- but it's like night and day.

I listened to “Baba… where’s baba?” while I prayed. My heart broke and I resented our situation. So I took her to the men’s section.

Maybe sometimes the men’s section is used for women’s educational circles. Maybe the men pray upstairs on Thursdays. Maybe this is an amazing mosque with amazing programming with super-involved women who are proud to be a part of this great initiative (very likely). But I’ll never know.

In ten years I have never felt welcome enough to make this mosque, my mosque.

Katherine Wilson has written a wonderfully enlightening piece on altMuslimah regarding emancipating gender. Her beautiful words echo my feelings and experiences in places of communal worship — and sum-up precisely how I feel about the majority of our prayer spaces:

When I walk into my community mosque, I resent that I must demonstrate my authenticity as a Muslim—I must not make eye contact with anyone, give proper greetings to the matriarchs, and sprinkle my sentences with the words like Insha’Allah and Mash ‘Allah. I must enter the “sisters only area,” complete with signs reminding me that the rowdy behavior of my children reflects my poor parenting skills. The garments that cover this body are checked to make sure that I am abiding by the strictest rules of modesty. I sit and listen to the Imam over a loud speaker; to be in his presence is to crack the wall of sexual exaggeration that gender segregation has created through programming men and women to believe that we have nothing to offer each other apart from sex. And when I leave, I am resentful. I am angry. I have missed my time with my Creator. I pledge to not return because I do not feel the presence of the Most Merciful within these four walls and their confining rules that single out my gender. I am not emancipated.

It is not good enough to *just* give women space, a shelf for our shoes, nice carpeting, a flat-screen television, or small couches to recline on. These material items won’t make women who feel excluded (or maybe just me) feel better about praying upstairs behind a digital image — incapable of asking questions, correcting the imam, raising concerns integral to community and personal spirituality and participating in the public, communal worship that’s integral to Islam.

Cross-posted at Womanist Musings.

I’m looking forward to news items in 2012 which may include such gems as: “World doesn’t end in 2012. Muslims still think it’s 1433!” and “Muslim Women Call For More Female Imams Within Their Communities“

Enjoy and Happy New Year!

Like ZOMG guys! Hijab makes so much more sense now!

1) Why does the Media insist on creating illustrations desperately trying to simplify and explain the innumerable diverse religious and personal expressions four types of Muslim “head gear”?

This illustration appeared on an article in the National Post, reporting on the political reaction to the Quebec government’s decision to allow female prison guards to wear hijab. Because you know, the hijab (as “championed by the Muslim Brotherhood”) is just Step One in the slow Islamification of our correctional system. Before you know it, the traffic cop ticketing your car will be in burqa!

At least this is better than the BBC’s illustration — which shows women becoming significantly more pissed off and darker in skin colour, as more cloth hides their faces.

2) Awww, the Media isn’t all THAT bad — not when you have Mark Steel, a man with possibly the best natural superhero name, taking on false media reports about Muslims.

In an op-ed for the Independent, Mark Steel dishes out a whole lotta snark in response to The Sun’s admittance that some of their reporting on Muslims is… “distorted.” Noting that some stories are in fact complete fabrications, Mark Steel suggests:

But if reporters are allowed to make up what they like, [they] should be disciplined for displaying a shocking lack of imagination… there was a story about “Muslim thugs” in Windsor who attacked a house used by soldiers, except it was another invention. But with this tale the reporter still claims it’s true, despite a complete absence of evidence, because, “The police are too politically correct to admit it.”

This must be the solution to all unsolved crimes. With Jack the Ripper it’s obvious – he was facing the East End of London, his victims were infidels and he’d have access to a burqua which would give him vital camouflage in the smog. But do the pro-Muslim police even bother to investigate? Of course not, because it’s just “Allah Allah Allah” down at the stations these days.

3) Have you seen the reports on Victoria Jackson’s anti-Islam diatribe on her web-show “Politichicks?” Like, have you actually sat down to watch just how much the former SNL actress is full of horrific, ridiculous, ignorant cow-pies? After a 6 hour briefing on Islam and how the Muslim Brotherhood has “infiltrated the highest positions in government,” she had this to share with the world:

Islam is our enemy. Islam is not a religion of Peace. That’s a lie. It’s called taqiyya — and you’re allowed to lie for Allah.

And if you can actually get through the 11 minutes of putrid hate you might even learn that we also practice “Civilization Jihad” — where we creep into society and turn Americans against each other. Or that 1/7th of our zakat “goes to jihad… you know, murder.” She even “proves” that the “one white, right-wing, Christian extremist” has a Muslim connection. So natch, Timothy Mcveigh was a Muslim Terrorist.

You know, I just don’t have much to say about this. Islamophobia will never get better or go away. It’s just going to get worse.

By the by, 100% of my zakat goes toward women’s shelters. So STFU Vicky.

4) YAY! I get to start the New Year with a new favourite catch phrase: “vaginal vigilantism!”

Nushin Arbabzadah asks the most fundamental question of our time: Why the hell do male imams get to decide how women are supposed to feel? In a piece called, Why are imams telling us about nail polish?

…I saw a bearded imam on the stage preaching through the microphone to the female congregation. He was telling the hundred or so female believers what it meant to be a Muslim woman, as if the women themselves were clueless about this particular matter.

Judging by the women’s almost palpable concentration, they were deeply engrossed in the question, which was fair enough. But why listen to a man who, by virtue of his biological, social and cultural programming, was unable to know what it felt like to be a woman, let alone a Muslim woman – the innocent victims par excellence of this century’s relentless clash of civilisations. The irony of the situation was missed by both the female congregation and, naturally, the imam himself. The bearded man finished the sermon with the words: “And that’s what being a Muslim woman feels like.”

As a good friend recently said to me about imams talking about menstruation, “There are plenty of female scholars. Don’t worry guys. We got this.”

5) Finally, and as I have said time and time again, the Australians have got it going ON!

World News Australia has a cute little piece on Aussies sharing “Islamic fashion” online.

I want to shop at the Hijab House in a mall and be a hijabista too!