“Every day is Valentine’s Day in Islam!”
I cringe every time I hear that excuse from anti-holiday-types. While the role of wife and mother (often to the exclusion of singletons or pro-childless, unmarried, sexually experienced females) are indeed elevated positions in Islam — if the lovely sentiment above was really put into practice, I’d be receiving flowers more often than just once a year.
I wouldn’t have to say, “HEY! Where’s MY KISS?” whenever the Hubby came home. I wouldn’t consider brushing my teeth enough effort to “beautify myself for my husband.” I wouldn’t forfeit candles and rose petals strewed upon satin sheets for piles of tinker toys and stuffed animals on a spaghetti-stained couch. I might even get a ring or breakfast in bed more often than the one time we got married.
But this is more a reflection of life with child and less a reflection of the Hubby or myself being observant “every-day-is-Valentine’s-Day-in-Islam” Muslims. I may not be the most romantic type, but I make a killer Shepherd’s Pie and my massages are to die for. I’ve just had a baby attached to me for 2.5 years — which makes massages and candle-light dinners more difficult to pull off.
Hence relying on the alluring power of freshly brushed teeth.
To tell the truth, the Hubby is the romantic one in this relationship: from kisses on the head to corny, “Just dip your finger in the tea dear. You’re sweet enough for me.” And when he does Valentine’s Day, he puts out the red carpet.
Among the most memorable was sending me flowers with a gorgeous Doctor Who quote when he was away on business — and when Eryn was 6 months old and I was STILL afraid to breastfeed in public, he rented our condo’s “movie theater” to show me District 9. It was her first movie. It came with gourmet cheese cakes (yes… plural)!
But if it weren’t for this commercially constructed (with debatable Pagan roots) holiday, I’d probably never see one bouquet of flowers. And I really like getting flowers once a year!
So to all the haters harassing and shaming unmarried couples, protesting, arresting people, and banning V Day because a little more romance with a loved one on an arbitrary day in February somehow threatens your concept of social and moral order more than a daily barrage of MTV, Jersey Shore or listening to Katy Perry in-between Qur’an recitations on your local radio station, I give you the man who darned his own socks, searched his clothes for lice, comforted his wives when they cried, and never, ever laid a hand on women in anger:
Once the prophet was sitting in a room with Aisha and fixing his shoes. It was very warm, and Aisha looked to his forehead and noticed beads of sweat on it. She became overwhelmed by the majesty of that sight and stared at him long enough for him to notice.
He said, “What’s the matter?” She replied, “If Abu Bukair Al-Huthali, the poet, saw you, he would know that his poem was written for you. He said if you looked to the majesty of the moon, it twinkles and lights up the world for everybody to see.”
The Prophet got up, walked to Aisha, kissed her between the eyes, and said, “Wallahi ya Aisha, you are like that to me and more.”
*melt*
Ps… love is important, sex is fun and both are halaal.
February 14, 2012 at 11:22 am
Thank you. I hear that sometimes about Mother’s day too. Pfft. Right, every day is Mother’s day? HA!! Also, is your husband Egyptian? That finger in the tea thing is so Gypo.
February 14, 2012 at 11:28 am
Yep — Mother’s Day is also conveniently “every day.” Again, where’s my breakfast in bed?
The Hubby is Yemeni and Indian but grew up in Kenya. I guess cheesy love lines are universal 😉
February 15, 2012 at 1:33 am
My husband can barely show affection without closing his eyes and turning pretty shades of red and purple.
February 15, 2012 at 2:47 pm
@Midnightmama…. awww! That’s so sweet!
February 14, 2012 at 12:41 pm
Loved reading this. I’m glad I discovered wood turtle.
February 15, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Likewise! Can’t wait to read more of your posts.
February 15, 2012 at 1:29 am
Well said sister!!!
Right on, right. On.
February 15, 2012 at 1:58 am
Reblogged this on JGrozny's Blog.
February 15, 2012 at 2:30 pm
Very beautiful. I enjoyed this very much – all of your blog posts actually 🙂
February 15, 2012 at 2:46 pm
Thanks Mariam!
February 16, 2012 at 8:32 am
Get over it. Seriously
February 16, 2012 at 8:33 am
I am not zulfaqartabish
February 16, 2012 at 10:35 am
you are spam?
February 16, 2012 at 10:19 am
crazy aunties…
i melted tooo..
grey day sux…
February 16, 2012 at 10:35 am
… now this random comment I get. I see you wasabi!
February 16, 2012 at 1:22 pm
My hubby is so romantic but hates holidays, especially this one. The only non-Muslim holiday he likes is Thanksgiving. We also don’t do the gifts thing, we just decide what to buy together, whether it’s for one of us or both. Once in a while I miss being part of the holidays that most Americans (or Canadians!) celebrate, but most of them are so commercial they became meaningless long before I met my hubby. And I wouldn’t trade him for the world.
February 21, 2012 at 6:10 pm
These type of so-called holidays are created by big business for big business! I show my love to my husband everyday! Don’t need to buy anything!
February 21, 2012 at 6:20 pm
Oh those “Every day is X day” … retorts! LOL, the people who say it hardly believe it, it should be more like “not even ONE day is X day …”
Anyone who says that to me gets a mandatory course on bidah and the various types of bidah in the world. They get surprised when I tell them that there is “good” bidah in Islam and it’s encouraged. They are like whaaaat?
I could make a whole meme album out of it. 🙂
February 21, 2012 at 7:00 pm
Doooo it! The meme isn’t dead yet! We could do with just one more 😉
Another thing that surprises people is when they find out that some practices from Jahiliyya times were carried over into Islam. Like.. oh, I dunno… circumambulating the Ka’aba.
December 31, 2012 at 1:54 am
[…] when mothers with children want to worship at the mosque too, and ranted a bit against the non-romantic haraam notions of Valentine’s Day. But my favourite posts of 2012 was a wonderfully spiritually uplifting guest post by Rawiya on […]